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My godson taught me a pretty important lesson this weekend: hanging out with the adults at a playground is no fun. He had me running, jumping, and spinning – I was totally winded by the end of the day. This got me thinking that there’s a lot we can apply to our own fitness regimen from the everyday activities of kids. [...]

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FRIDAY

Woke up feeling refreshed and happy – today I can finally eat. My brain is telling me to charge to the bodega for an egg and cheese on wheat toast, but my tummy is telling me I am not that hungry. Listening to my body, I settle for a cup of green tea and wait.

11:45 a.m. Is there such thing as a food orgasm?

Foodgasm! I want to avoid starvation pains, so I prepare myself a late breakfast of low fat Greek yogurt with fresh blackberries and a cup of green tea.

The moment the spoon touches my lips, I buckle over in pleasure. Food has never tasted this good!

Yogurt and berries takes on a whole new meaning when you haven’t eaten for 3 full days. Every bite offers a heavenly flavor that I’ve never noticed and I take time with every bite never wanting this oral pleasure to end.

1:30 p.m. Finally… lentil soup

After dreaming about lentil soup for the past 3 days, I am finally preparing a huge pot of it. As the lentils cook in the broth, the aroma makes me giddy. I’ve never been this excited cooking anything.

While I prepare, I snack on carrots but avoid the celery at all costs since the green juice left me scarred for life.

3:15 p.m. Witching hour…

… now known as the bitching hour. When the hell will that lentil soup be ready?

4 p.m. Heaven…

I sit down to enjoy my lentil soup by turning off my cell phone and grabbing the NY Post so I can savor every moment. The heavenly warm soup feels so good going down and the flavor bursts at every bite.

6 p.m. Greens, but not green juice

My lil sis Patty made me a hearty salad with apples, mushrooms, carrots, cucumber and nuts. I picked out all the celery out since I am still having nightmares of green juice.

8:30 p.m. One more lentil soup

Seriously, food has never tasted so good

SATURDAY

Patty and I had a busy day of shopping planned, but I stuck to 3 healthy meals of yogurt for breakfast, sushi for lunch and lentil soup for dinner. When I got home Sean told me I looked thin, but very pale (it wasn’t my imagination). Bed early

SUNDAY

Ever since the cleanse, I sleep hard and deep every night. Last night I had a dream that I was as skinny as Kate Moss and another dream where I suspected a neighbor of dog-napping so I banged on the door and told him I was the Attorney General and he was under arrest. Hilarious!

After reading in bed, I ventured out into the cold for a 1.5 mile walk uphill, which felt great. Interestingly enough, before we began out walk Sean stopped for an espresso at a bakery in town. Usually, I’d order a croissant or bagel, but as I looked at the glazed delights 1 a) wasn’t hungry and b) felt that if I was going to splurge then it better be on something I REALLY like.

After the walk I felt great until… the witching hour (4-5pm).

I had another bowl of lentil soup and went about my household chores when I suddenly flipped into psycho mode and wanted to kill anything and everything that crossed my path. When I realized I was starving, I bolted to the kitchen to prepare a bowl of Grape Nuts. Sean had the nerve to ask me to help him in something when I was in such an intense mood and I turned into Sybil. Considering I am never like that, I asked to eat alone in silence.

After my dinner, we watched “Dr Zhivago,” which was a glorious 3.5 hours, but I must admit the witching (bitching) hour never passed and every time my phone rang or Sean opened his mouth, I barked. I was like a wild dog and had no clue why.

MONDAY

Flip mode still in effect. When I woke up Sean asked if I was feeling better today. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I hissed at him. He got the point quick that bitch-face was still in full force and to keep his distance.

After apologizing numerous times for my crazy behavior, he told me I looked thin (yay!), but also pale and drained. I suddenly had hunger pains and quickly began to prep a healthy lunch. In the middle of my food prep, psycho Chrissy resurfaced, but this time I caught myself before I could lash out any further and retreated to my office.

Is a normal side effect of a juice cleanse crazy psychosis? I am always a happy-go-lucky type, so this edgy behavior, lack of patience, and loss of focus is completely uncharacteristic of me. When Sean got home from work he grew concerned over my odd behavior and suggested we call my sponsor, Amy. Lucky for her she had never experienced any similar side effects and when she asked Sean my symptoms his response had me laughing out loud: loopier than usual; retarded; wild look; on edge.

Amy checked WebMD and concluded that I am suffering from caffeine withdrawal.

According to the site if you stop taking caffeine abruptly, you may have symptoms for a day or more, especially if you consume two or more cups of coffee a day. Considering I drink 3+ cups of coffee a day, I’d expect the symptoms to linger for more than a day.

Symptoms of withdrawal from caffeine include:

• Headache (non-stop)
• Fatigue (always)
• Anxiety (a given)
• Irritability (psychotic is more like it)
• Depressed mood (who isn’t)
• Difficulty concentrating (everyday)

I have every single one of these symptoms and never had them prior to the Blueprint Cleanse. I suppose it’s good to get the toxins out, because Lord knows I must have a lot of them in me, but the last few days have been misery.